SAFETY WARNINGS

Do not swallow LEGO blocks, stick your finger in your eyeball or head butt the monitor whilst reading these pages. Poking appendages into electrical outlets is also unwise, and RTSC can not take responsibility for anyone reading these pages and suddenly finding there's sufficient fault in society to justify running off and indulging in a killing spree. However, this is a remote possibility, given that the population of Earth is around six billion or so and there has been a frightening proliferation of weapons in the last century and American foreign policy, which, like Al Qaeda and its ilk, has opted for a first strike policy. For pity's sake, don't make any sudden moves, keep your hands where they can see them and talk slowly in sound bites of no more than six syllables each. If somehow they get the idea that "you're one of them" you're in biiig trouble.

Winners do not take drugs.

This, as any tired and emotional Olymipics drugs tester can tell you, is clearly untrue. Presumably winners everywhere are suffering the effects of aches, pains and other assorted ailments and diseases. Winners must really be in trouble if they ever catch the flu. No wonder its such a huge health issue. See? Losers are much better off in this regard. Be a loser if you know what's good for you and stick to just selling.

The word Carnage is used in the name to spice it up. Really.

Recording yourself reading RTSC text and then playing the recording backwards only sounds like garbled Swedish.

Only read genuine RTSC pages. There are many false RTSC sites on the web. These sites are evil and should be shut down immediately:

Roof Tiles and Slate Company
Rideau Tennis & Squash Club
Regional Training Support Centre, Fort Carson, Colorado

Computer game violence is of great concern to Concerned Parents. Violence of any kind is of great concern, except when it comes to dropping the kiddies off to school: then triple parking, backing over arch rivals, demanding outraged explanations from parking inspectors, and bulldozing through the kids in whopping great four wheel drives at Mach 1 suddenly becomes perfectly acceptable. Its important to differentiate between a cartoonish sprite in a highly contrived, limited computer world and a real thing. For example, if you see full colour 3D action shots with cross hairs, explosions, screaming victims, and repetitive imagery accompanied by a full soundtrack, all showing a simplistic, black and white world, then you're watching a major news network. And frankly, the primary objective of any media outlet is simply make huge returns for the shareholders and to flog "product". All other considerations are secondary.

RTSC believes that as long as you had fun, then the game was clearly worthwhile. And this, weirdly enough, is why most games are played in the first place. And its even more fun when the whole gang gets together.

Unlike books.

Now books are cause for real concern. There's nothing more worrying than an innocent kid with their nose buried in a book. Can't network books, can you? Eh? Eh?? Don't deny it - its as solitary as it gets! (don't give me that "but you can read bedstories to them" spin doctoring either! We all know exceptions prove the rule) We've all seen those terrifying, blank stares as kids slump in their chairs, losing all sense of time, wrecking their eyesight, developing bad posture, suffering headaches, "neck and wrist pain", becoming anti-social and withdrawn, their eyes "glued" to that book. Good God, the amount of "borrowing" and "lending" (in clear violation of the copyright notices at the front) are simply quite staggering. Don't smirk - practically everyone commits book piracy! Books turn you into copyright criminals - what we need is more MDCA legislation for books, preferably with lots of undemocratic and authoritarian clauses, rushed through the U.S. Congress before the post S11 hysteria dissipates and everyone comes to their senses.

And thats before we get to the dubious subject of books fostering funny ideas. Oh yes, friends, those do-gooders try to distract you with their anti-Net ways, while apparently innocuous and clean cut folk try to foist ghastly works of horror upon our youth. Violence, sex, incest, genocide...Hitler wrote a book (in jail!!) and caused World War II - and the number of bloody wars and crusades caused by that other blood-soaked tome, the Bible, beggar description! Remember friends, it might have helped free the slaves, but it was the same book that was used to justify enslaving them in the first place!

Just think: pornography started in book form! (or was it postcards?) Much of it is sold at knee height in news agents, obviously with the express intent of selling directly to innocent children. You do like children, don't you?

Stick to computer games if you know what's good for you. And remember, no drugs. Mindless violence is alright, though.